A Chance

This is a tough one to write. In some ways adoption is similar to trying to get pregnant and being pregnant: When will it work?, Who should we tell?, When should we tell?, Is the baby healthy?, and so on. I feel paranoid even writing about this...like maybe if I don't talk about it, it won't hurt as much if it does not work out. However, I know myself well enough to know that it won't make a difference. So here it is.

Right now, we a chance, we have a shot. A birth mother of a baby girl is looking at our file this week or next. For some reason this feels like it could be it. There have been so many things this time around that have been affirming. Our case worker seems hopeful, the baby's name is a nick name of mine, and today at church a little girl named Cora came into the class. This is the name that we both love and plan to use if we are blessed with a little girl. The mom said her name and my breath got caught in my chest for a second. The name Cora is not common so it took me by surprise.

Kyle and I have both been anxious (me way more of course). I woke up last night and could not go back to sleep for over an hour...same for Kyle this morning. This whole thing may very well fail but we will be OK and we will not give up.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I have never been more grateful for my Savior. He knows what is best for me even if there is pain involved. He has always taken care of Kyle and me despite our shortcomings. We are blessed.