A New Equation: Adopting

(Please forgive the typos and poor grammar!)

As many of you already know, Kyle, Max, and I are in the process of adopting a child from Taiwan. I really do not have the ability to write the words that describe this whole process. It has already been a journey...

After Max turned a year old, we began talking about expanding our family of three to four. During this time, God really opened our eyes and hearts towards adoption. As we "marinated" on these feelings, God opened so many doors that we could not say no. I love that about God...sometimes He makes it impossible to not see his will. We found an agency (after searching for awhile), discussed our options, and decided to adopt internationally in Ethiopia. We spent three months gathering the necessary paperwork...let me tell you...the paperwork is/was crazy! Basically, your whole life is checked, documented, and rechecked. As soon as we completed the paperwork, God changed our path. Unfortunately, the Ethiopian government chose to slow down their adoption processing by 90% thereby increasing the wait time by several years. One thing that is important to us is that Max and his sibling be somewhat close in age. After several talks with our agency and prayer, we switched to the Taiwan program.

Luckily, most of the paperwork transferred over easily and we did not lose too much time. As we talked with our new caseworker, I felt like this particular program was a perfect fit for our family. Taiwan is such an amazing country...rich in culture and so dynamic. However, there are so many children who need forever homes. The program that we are involved with includes the birth mother's input...meaning she picks who she wants her child to be adopted by. She will be given several files of families based on her criteria (age, siblings, education, etc) to choose from. I truly believe this is for the best...our child's mother will have chosen us! How amazing and comforting to know this for both sides. We were required to write a letter to the birth mother...this was an emotional experience. Kyle and I had to really ponder why we would be the "best" fit for her child. How do you put a value on your parenting abilities or love? Talk about humbling.

If you have read this far...I commend you. We completed our homestudy (4-5 hour long interview with a social worker) in May/June and will be open to birth mothers by the end of this month. Our referral time is anywhere from 0-6 months. I cannot tell you how thrilled, humbled, nervous, and ready we are to be considered by these amazing women. I call them amazing for many reasons. These women, despite immense pressure, chose to carry their babies. There are more abortions than live births in Taiwan. Secondly, these women truly thought about what was best for their child...they put their baby's needs above their own. Could you imagine having to decide all this even if that went against the "normal". If we are lucky to be chosen by a birth mother, we will be able to pick her or him up in Taiwan 8 months later. Our precious little one will be cared for by a foster family until the wait is over.

I personally want to thank those that have been so encouraging towards us since we began this emotional and complex journey. It is funny how you can read people's reactions when you tell them you are adopting internationally...sometimes total support and sometimes reluctance. However, we are immensely grateful for the love we have received from those who know us well.

So this is where we are at. Waiting. I am not a particularly patient kind of person so this is a trial for me. Kyle and I ask for your prayers specifically for our baby and his or her family. We pray for their safety, well being, and health.

A song that I listen to all the time is called "Chances" by Five for Fighting. (Yes the cheesy side is coming out in this blog) I think it sums up the ups and downs, uncertainty, and overwhelming love felt during this journey. Here are the lyrics:

Chances are when said and done
Who'll be the lucky ones who make it all the way?
Though you say I could be your answer
Nothing lasts forever no matter how it feels today

Chances are we'll find a new equation
Chances roll away from me
Chances are all they hope to be

Don't get me wrong I'd never say never
'Cause though love can change the weather
No act of God can pull me away from you

I'm just a realistic man, a bottle filled with shells and sand
Afraid to love beyond what I can lose when it comes to you
And though I see us through, yeah

Chances are we'll find two destinations
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/f/five-for-fighting-lyrics/chances-lyrics.html]
Chances roll away from me
Still chances are more than expectations
The possibilities over me

It's a fight with two to one, lay your money on the sun
Until you crash what have you done? Is there a better bet than love?
What you are is what you breathe, you gotta cry before you sing

Chances, chances
Chances lost are hope's torn up pages
Maybe this time

Chances are we'll be the combination
Chances come and carry me
Chances are waiting to be taken, and I can see

Chances are the fascinations
Chances won't escape from me
Chances are only what we make them and all I need

With Love,
CeCe